The picture is a dowry chest from somewhere in the middle east. Somebody asked whether the dowry system was not degrading to women and hence reducing them to slaves. I can see how a dowry system may be perceived as such. But this is based on the perspective from which one looks at the matter. From today’s secular world perspective, it seems so but from a Judeo-Christian perspective, it is the total opposite. It is one of the highest honors confirming a girl\s womanhood which also bridges families.
The question is similar to asking if tithes and offerings are payment to secure God’s blessings. On the surface it may look like it. Some preachers may even have said so but what does the scripture say? God is Love and He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. He even allows armed robbers and witches to enjoy his oxygen and water free of charge.
Why then pay offerings to God or a bride price for a woman’s hand in marriage? The answer is found in the book of Malachi chapter 1. In this chapter God speaks of offerings and what they mean to Him. In those days, they did not use cash money. They used barter system of trade. Money was represented by flocks, crops, servants etc. Hence their offerings were fruits, grain, livestock and things like that. The rich could pay a lamb but the poor who did not have were allowed to pay turtle doves. In the book of Malachi, we are given a key as to why these monetary payments are not a cost of a service from God.
“A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the LORD Almighty. “It is you, O priests, who show contempt for my name. “But you ask, ‘How have we shown contempt for your name?’ Malachi 1:6
The key here is Honor and respect. Fatherhood is a status of high respect like motherhood and it demands honor and respect. And it was based on this argument that God made His case against Israel. Paying the money is a show of honor and respect to Him. It is also a reflection of our love for Him. The one who pays shows respect and honor to the one to whom he pays. For example if I had audience with the King or President of any nation on earth, I would not dare go into his or her presence without a gift. That is why the Queen of Sheba brought gifts to King Solomon when she visited him. This is also why the three wise men brought gifts to baby King Jesus.
Money, offerings and honor? How are these connected??
Think about it. What do humans do? We work. We work to take care of ourselves and families and in exchange for our labor we are paid money. It is the closest thing which you can use to substitute our labor on earth. SO paying offerings to God is not buying a miracle or buying his grace or love. All the currency in the world cannot buy one miracle or even one minute of oxygen for the entire populace of South Africa. No amount of money can pay for God’s love. Likewise no amount of money can buy a human being (in this case a woman) created in the image and likeness of God. Since we cannot pay God for what he does for us, we honor him with the thing that represents our life work which is our money. This is how we show him respect. Likewise when a young man wants to marry, he cannot pay for all the sleepless nights, blood and toil of her family who raised her. Even if he could, he cannot pay for a human being. No amount of money can buy life. So humbly he gives a token of money or gifts to the family to show how much he honors and respects them for making him complete by restoring his rib. This is being respectful first of the woman and second to her family. The dowry is God’s way of reminding young men how precious their brides are like the Church is to Christ.
Honor and respect have a strong correlation with money. Let me prove it. The only promise in the 10 commandments that had a blessing of long life attached to it was to honor our parents. The Jews understanding that part of honor and respect was giving money to their elders did so for a long time but later the Pharisees told them to stop doing that and bring that money into the church. Jesus was not pleased with this and this is what he said:
9Then he said, “You skillfully sidestep God’s law in order to hold on to your own tradition. 10For instance, Moses gave you this law from God: ‘Honor your father and mother,’e and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’f 11But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’g 12In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. 13And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition. (Mark 7) New Living Translation
See honor and respect and offerings are interlinked. Lastly what’s the fastest way to know what’s in a person’s heart? How would a woman know where my heart is for instance? According to scripture…
New International Version
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matt 6:21)
My heart and the use of my money or my treasure are connected. Money is a good indicator of the condition and position of a person’s heart. If you want to know where my heart is, when you come to my house or see my check book, look at what I spend the most on. If I spend the most on clothes and clubbing, that’s probably where my heart is. If I spend the most of gyms and exercise, that’s probably where my heart is. If I spend the most of resources to get to know more about God and to chart a secure course for my future, that’s where my heart is. If I pay a bride price for a woman, I am not degrading her, I am telling her and her family that my heart is with their daughter.
So where is God’s heart right now? With His church i.e. with you and me. How do we know that? Because he paid the greatest price i.e. crucifixion naked on a tree pouring out His very blood so that He could be with you i.e. so that he could marry His bride, the church Eph 5.
